Mr Toad goes to Washington

Mister Toad’s Born Again Ride

Out of the blue sky of disaster
Devil winds twist like thunder gods
Dripping fury in cold drops
Showering the faithful
Destroying the home of their dreams

Driven by fear incarnate
Neighbors scurry like emboldened rabbits
Marching to war
Anything to avoid facing the obvious
They feign an immortal faith
Offering their petitions for sacrifice
It is a terrible lesson, about
Poetic justice they cannot avoid

Misunderstanding chance as irrational
& death as inevitable
They fall on their knees
Offer a tribute for their undeserved luck
Praise God it was not them

Save for a Methodist minute
They might have been praying
While everyone else ran for the cellar
Scared as meadow mice
Saved by their unbelief!

If John Calvin was a poet
Don’t look for him to disclose it!
Can public service be this beguiling
When it’s “a sin” to be smiling?

Have you ever been manipulated
Digitally? Had your pixels fiddled?
It always happens on Mondays
The day after the day after
Second-guessing bluenews accounts
Counting out the missed possibilities
One excuse only: Arithmomania!

On the other hand, it’s Sunday
Wal-mart still has toilet paper
Sam’s has pop tarts, and, with a
Pickup line full of jizolene,
The loaded question is,
Briefs or Boxers, Osama?

So much for heading
“Nowhere in particular.”

So much for heading "Nowhere in Particular" as the attraction’s theme song (also known as "The Merrily Song") proclaimed! Both tracks led Toad to a similar fate, though. While he was able to narrowly escape the police, gypsies, and Judge, he couldn’t avoid the oncoming train in the blackened tunnel.

This is where things got weird. Really weird considering you were in Walt Disney World. Not just WDW, but the Magic Kingdom. And Fantasyland, for goodness sake! So where were you after kissing the front of a train at incredible speeds? Why, Hell, of course. Yes, in clearly what can be called a radical departure from the cute and cuddly Disney holds so dear, you and your car-mates ended up surrounded by Satan and his demonic minions in the bowels of a “Disney-fied” Hell (which some have described as it’s a small world for the 5 th time in a row. Yes, pitchforks and all, these long-nosed devils and their leader (complete with requisite horns and pointy moustache) showed you what happens to bad toads that get hit by trains. ... or don't as in neo-Climate Change.

Or maybe the voice of reason in "Wind in the Willows"

What the Badger Said

Sustaining empire is serious
To do the easy parts first
Give them language
Give them freedoms
Give them Rhodes Scholars,
Raw power and vast resources,
Roll in a touch of your rivals,
Bonaparte in drag
The progeny of Olympian Dreams.
Give them time to grow,
Win wars,
Lose wars.
Finally add the crowning touch,
The most difficult of all,
Pass on a sense of humor—
Offer them myths
Disguised as slap stick.
Write them allegories.
Include some religion guidelines.
In the end,
Give them what they what
Not what they need.
Celebrate their fools,
Invest in their theme parks,
Retell the same old story.
“Success is Temporary!”
They will look for reason.
They will look for praise.
They will misunderstand
Who the rats are,
Who the weasels are,
Who the rabbits are, and
Why you can’t believe Mister Toad.
Wisdom isn’t natural,
Neither are empires.



My thanks to
Michael Hartnack in Harare for an enlightenmenting reinterpretation and three excellent lines.


“Zimbabwe life akin to ‘Wind in the Willows’ tale.”